Posts Tagged ‘stephenie meyer’

27th January
2009
written by Tony
"Hold on tight, Spider Monkey." WTF? Who writes this stuff? Kill yourself!

"Hold on tight, Spider Monkey." WTF? Who writes this stuff? Kill yourself!

Oh. My. God. So, apparently, Steph watched this movie one day when she was cloistered in the apartment with some sort of (clearly) mind-altering illness. She confessed it all to me, and also said she felt embarrassed to be watching the movie, even though it was on her laptop, behind closed doors and she was alone. I think that’s about right. How she cajoled me into watching this movie is still a bit of a mystery. Perhaps it was with the promise that I would get to flay it in a review, which I intend to do. Perhaps it was simply so I could know for myself. I’m not sure if I regret it yet or not. Let me warn you dear reader, there are a lot of spoilers in this review, so if you haven’t seen Twilight yet and plan to watch the movie, don’t. Read this review instead. I would have said that this was the worst movie of 2008 (and possibly ever) if it weren’t for Love Guru. I do not need to see Love Guru to know I hate it and, by extension, Mike Myers. Love Guru is like salt in a paper-cut (from one of those nasty manila folders) in the web between your thumb and index finger after you have been run over by a garbage truck full of used diapers. It’s like the aunt you don’t like who always wants a kiss and always has coffee/offal breath and will never let you go for the cheek. Nope, full on the lips buddy. Anyway, Love Guru aside, Twilight is one hell of a bad movie, and I can only assume that if it bears any resemblance to the book, the book must be one of the worst pieces of tripe ever written. And I’m not sorry that this is going to destroy any street-cred I may have had in the 12 year-old girl department either. If they like this crap, I don’t want to talk to them anyway. (more…)
21st January
2009
written by Steph
If you're like me, you know about this little underground series called Twilight, written by Stephenie Meyer.  But maybe you haven't actually bitten the bullet and actually read the books.  Or maybe you have read the books and loved them!  Or hated them (I sure did)!  And the thing is, it's not just the books that have been hyped to all hell lately, but also the movie.  Because Robert Pattinson is totally dreamy (if you're 14), and his hair is the perfect length for tangling your fingers in it (at least it was until he was all scampish and went and had it all buzzed off).  Sigh. But maybe you're a diehard fan of the books who doesn't want someone else's vision tainting your own mind pictures where Edward is all yours.  Or perhaps you just didn't feel like shelling out money for all the pain and embarrassment the movie might bring you (heaps, on both counts), because wasn't all of that present in spades in the books? What I'm trying to say here is that no matter what kind of fan - or non-fan! - of Twilight you are, I have a treat for you.  Click on the image below to watch a 30-second synopsis of the film as enacted by cartoon bunnies!  You get all the story in considerably less time than it would take you to read the book or watch the movie... and in the case of the latter, I'd wager the acting is better in this version anyway! (There's no hard link for this video, so hopefully clicking the pretty picture will get you what you want, but if not, it should get you to a flash player whose sidebar you can scroll through in order to find the correct video!  Link opens up in a new window.)

Click me and allow hilarity to ensue!

Click me and allow hilarity to ensue!