Posts Tagged ‘OMGWTFBBQ’

18th March
2009
written by Tony

The end is near, I can sense it.

The end is near, I can sense it.

Steph and I were out at one of the malls in Nashville the other night wandering around aimlessly (as we do) when Steph said she would like to stop in BCBG and see what's the what. We were immediately off-put by the rather garish, 80s inspired window dressings, but decided to press on... until we came to the front entrance and saw the sight above. DEAR GOD what is this? Max Azria really, really thinks women will, or even should, wear this? If women start wearing these at all, even once, I'm going to lose my shit. Seriously. And these would be the perfect pants to be wearing if that were to happen.

I mean, maybe, if I was 70 years old and required an enormous adult diaper to contain the vast amounts of incontinence that wearing these pants would cause me to have all the time (from shame) then perhaps I would consider these mutated hospital bottoms as outerwear.

Apparently these $88.00 pants of shame are known as the Jersey Harem Pant. There aren't enough capital letters on the Internet to describe how much I hate these extra-ugly sweat pants. If you really want to throw up all over yourself, you can go check them out. You could pair them with this, and then change into this for the weekend. And then you could throw yourself into a ravine full of rabid weasels.

Normally I try to minimize obscenity in my posts (for all you sensitive souls out there) but...

Fuck you Max Azria.

p.s. I apologize for the quality of the camera phone image, I didn't have my nice camera with me because I never expected to see THIS at the mall. Or ever. JESUS.
13th February
2009
written by Steph
More like "Year of the Crazy Lady"

More like "Year of the Crazy Lady"

It should come as no surprise that Tony & I are huge dog people (in that we love dogs, not that we are part dog.  See this Demetri Martin clip for clarification.).  Because of this love, we tend to watch a lot of movies that feature dogs, and coo along adoringly when those adorable little canine scamps turn up onscreen.  Through this movie-watching exercise, I’ve come to believe that movie makers exploit our love of dogs, namely by making some truly horrendous films that ostensibly revolve around dogs or the love of same.  I mean, for every My Dog Skip, you have a Must Love Dogs, or a Beverley Hills Chihuahua, or even a, you guessed it, Year of the Dog.  [For the record, Tony & I have not seen Beverley Hills Chihuahua, nor do we have any plans to do so]  These are some bad movies, people, so be forewarned and avoid them if you either: a) love dogs; b) love movies; or c) love yourself. (more…)
27th January
2009
written by Tony
"Hold on tight, Spider Monkey." WTF? Who writes this stuff? Kill yourself!

"Hold on tight, Spider Monkey." WTF? Who writes this stuff? Kill yourself!

Oh. My. God. So, apparently, Steph watched this movie one day when she was cloistered in the apartment with some sort of (clearly) mind-altering illness. She confessed it all to me, and also said she felt embarrassed to be watching the movie, even though it was on her laptop, behind closed doors and she was alone. I think that’s about right. How she cajoled me into watching this movie is still a bit of a mystery. Perhaps it was with the promise that I would get to flay it in a review, which I intend to do. Perhaps it was simply so I could know for myself. I’m not sure if I regret it yet or not. Let me warn you dear reader, there are a lot of spoilers in this review, so if you haven’t seen Twilight yet and plan to watch the movie, don’t. Read this review instead. I would have said that this was the worst movie of 2008 (and possibly ever) if it weren’t for Love Guru. I do not need to see Love Guru to know I hate it and, by extension, Mike Myers. Love Guru is like salt in a paper-cut (from one of those nasty manila folders) in the web between your thumb and index finger after you have been run over by a garbage truck full of used diapers. It’s like the aunt you don’t like who always wants a kiss and always has coffee/offal breath and will never let you go for the cheek. Nope, full on the lips buddy. Anyway, Love Guru aside, Twilight is one hell of a bad movie, and I can only assume that if it bears any resemblance to the book, the book must be one of the worst pieces of tripe ever written. And I’m not sorry that this is going to destroy any street-cred I may have had in the 12 year-old girl department either. If they like this crap, I don’t want to talk to them anyway. (more…)