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4th December
written by Steph
We’ve been having a hard time sitting down and actually watching any of our Netflix rentals over the past month, so Tony and I vowed that we would sit down and at least attempt to watch one of the three movies that have been collecting dust in our apartment. To give you some perspective, we’ve had one of these movies since the last week of October… In the end, we picked Big Trouble, because at 1 hr and 20 minutes, it was the shortest of our options (during the week, I have a real problem watching anything that goes on for more than an hour). That being said, I think our general consensus was that Big Trouble goes on for about 1 hr and 20 minutes too long. This is one of those crime caper movies that is filled with unbelievable hijinks and multiple intersecting storylines. A bunch of unrelated strangers are introduced at the start of the film, and by the end, all of them have come together… to rectify a kidnapping and the mistaken activation of a Russian nuclear missile? Throw in a toad that spews hallucinogenic sputum, an odd fascination with Martha Stewart, a hippy (played by Jason Lee!) with a Fritos fixation, and a crate full of goats, and you have this movie. I don’t know. It was made in 2002, but felt much more dated than that, what with the very bad special effects and the intrusive score. It really seemed like the kind of film that would air ad nauseam on a channel like TBS or something. Apparently this whole catastrophe was based on a novel by Dave Barry, which meant nothing to me, but apparently meant everything to Tony. Apparently he gets to write this kind of crap in syndication! For being a really bad B-grade movie, it was kind of shocking just how many big stars were in this thing: Tim Allen (I’m not saying I like him!), Renée Russo, Stanley Tucci, Andy Richter, Jason Lee (as mentioned above), Johnny Knoxville (this might be pushing the definition of “famous”), Omar Epps, Zooey Deschanel, Janeane Garofalo (whom I totally still have a girl crush on, even if she seems to never be in any good movies… ever. OK, I guilty-pleasure love The Matchmaker and The Truth About Cats and Dogs, but these are not great movies). Someone I have the opposite of a girl crush on, however, is Zooey Deschanel. How was she so good in Elf, but then has consistently blown in every other movie since then? Why do people keep casting her in movies when she has the most monotonic voice ever, which I understand might temporarily fool you into thinking she is being dry/ironic/sarcastic, but in reality her emotive range is that of a flatlining cardiac patient and she is a really bad actress. She literally cannot express any emotions ever except for “nonplussed”. Hate! This was not a good movie. Despite a few extremely rare guffaws, please spare yourself and never watch this. We did make it all the way through, but I think we both mentally checked out about halfway through. In retrospect, we shouldn’t have checked it out at all! Rating: 1.5 out of 5

1 Comment

  1. Too bad. Dave Barry’s usually pretty good.

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